When He's Gone

Ain’t no sunshine when he’s gone

And he’s always gone too long

Any time he goes away…

While SquiggleDad has been overseas for work:

  • The kids and I landscaped another section of the garden :-)
  • I gave an old desk a new lease of life for my daughter’s upcoming birthday :-)
  • I put together an Ikea chair all by myself :-) but almost lost a finger in the process :-(
  • We baked rainbow cupcakes to be shared with a class of kids :-)
  • I had a horrible virus :-(
  • We sent emails to Daddy and he emailed us back :-)
  • We ate simply :-)
  • We managed NOT to break anything :-)
  • We shared meals with friends :-)
  • I got more sleep :-)
  • I was non-existent online :-(
  • I found a snakeskin hanging from the loungeroom window :-( but the snake is yet to make an appearance…!!

Does your husband or parter travel for business?  Do they work shifts, or unusual hours, which you leave you flying solo?  Or are you a full-time single parent?

How do you cope?

8 thoughts on “When He's Gone

  1. I’m a full time single parent, the boys see their Dad every second weekend. It’s been 5 years now, so we have got in to our own routine. I also have the most amazing support from my parents & extended family so I can still go out to things like Bible Study once a week.

  2. when my hubby goes it’s only for a week, so I plan and ensure I have everything I need. Then it’s quite a simple week of staying home and spending time together (in between mulitple kinder runs!).

  3. Owh I hear you! My hubby got back on Saturday morning from a week overseas. Second time in as many months. We eat simpler too and I got more sleep on one night – was in bed at 7pm!!

    My hubby is working full time and doing uni, so he’s late home most nights (two nights are week are 10pm arrivals home). It’s tough on all of us but I know he’s doing for our future. My stay at home role also involves looking after him!

    Being so late in my pregnancy now I need to start an 8:30pm bedtime for myself but wonder how I’ll go as I usually can’t get to sleep until I know he’s home safe.

  4. yep – he’s away. A lot. Works 6-7 hours away. Usually ends up working 5 travelling 2 days and home 2-3 days. Away 15-16 at the moment doing overtime and He. Is. Missed.

    No snakeskins thankfully, but lots of simple meals and cold nights (no human hot water bottle) and miss his company and just miss him. Weekends are hard as everyone else doing family things. Hard when kids are sick (or Mummy is sick. Or both. Hard when big decisions have to be made and the hours he works are not conducive to conversation. 13+ hour days and night shifts too and no contact during day so we are often not awake or available or compis mentis at same time. Hard when he misses events too like bdays and other special days and just the small day to day stuff you take for granted. Kind of getting a little more used to it after almost 6mths and into a bit of a new rhythm but its not the same as having the both of us at home. Altho when he is home he is home so that is nice and trying to make the most of those days. Ahhh that was nice to offload – hope it doesnt sound like a whinge. I am grateful for the work he has and how hard he works to provide for his family – just miss him : )

  5. Michelle your comment could have been written by me. It absolutely summed up how things are here as well. Really grateful as well but really hard like you said when kids are sick and often going to special events on your own with the kids and as you said weekends when other people are doing family things. The long hours my husband works and shift work makes conversation at night time hard too as he is often asleep by 8pm and then leaves for work at 4am. His work is changing soon so really looking forward to that! Feels like I have just had a big whinge too and I don’t mean it to be that either just had to comment as this post and your comment really struck a chord with me!

  6. I’m a single Mum now, but before singledom, I was a single-but-married Mum. That meant my then husband worked for long periods away, when the kids and I would get into our own routine, and then he’d come home and mess it all up again. But we missed him and it was always great when he came home, so it was worth the disruption.
    Except when he did come home, he didn’t seem to want to be involved with us. He’d sit on his computer playing WOW, or would sleep a lot, saying he needed ‘a break’. Kids would be hurt, I’d be mystified and we’d go out on our own.
    I never got a break. Not even when I was sick or injured.
    Now we’re separated, kids and I can have our own routine with no one to come home occasionally to be cranky with us or change the routine. And I do get a break, when they go to spend time at Dad’s place.
    It’s kind of better.
    With an involved Dad, I think it would have been much harder to live the ‘single but married’ lifestyle, as the kids would have missed him so much more.
    As it was, they always enjoyed, and still do, their Mumma time.
    I feel for anyone who has to parent alone, even for short stints. It’s hard, especially at bed times and when the kids – or parents – are sick. xo

  7. My husband usually travel for business on last days of every month so I come back my parents’ home and helps my mother to do housework

  8. We moved to Australia just over a year ago and since being here my husband has never worked as hard. He’s had to prove himself in a new job and work long hours and weekends, which he never did before. I’ve felt like a single mum for much of the past year and been disappointed when misses special events or hasn’t been able to support me in making tricky decisions about out new life here.
    But, I know this is just a transition phase and we’ll get back to a more relaxed pace of life before too long. And whenever he can he gives me a break and spends quality time with the children. I have a lot to be grateful for.
    The past year has made me realise how hard it must be for single mums who never have anyone else to turn to, or for married mums who have always lived like this and can’t see an end to it.
    Like you, when he’s not around we eat less, sleep more and I have to admit the kids are a little calmer. But when Dad’s here it’s loads more fun!
    Finally, a benefit of my husband being so busy is that I’ve had to get out there and make friends and create a new support network, something I thought would take longer than it has. It never stops amazing me how wonderful and supportive other mums are, from all walks of life.

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